OH! um ... Mad Men?

The new season premiered on Sunday ... we sort of forgot. Oops.

Mad Men Spoiler Report from Michael Gladis

Weirdest Hotels

Check out this slideshow on the weirdest hotels. I'd like to stay at the giraffe one, the spinning one and the treehouse for sure.

Beer Baths

Ugh, The Standard is so behind when it comes to cutting edge spa treatments. Haven't they heard about Beer Spas yet??

"Like being homeless in loud pants"

While I am, of course, not a fan of Chavez, and this new project of his, the Revolutionary Reading Plan, has (deservedly) a lot of critics, since it makes the writings of Chavez himself and Karl Marx required reading for school children (their "light" reading includes the love letters of Simon Bolivar ... a far cry from Captain Underpants, Cirque du Freak and Twilight...), the L in me can't help but still love the idea of free copies of Les Miserables (one of my favorite books) and Don Quijote and "roving book clubs." Roving Book Clubs? It's like literacy meets flash mob! We can all agree to meet seemingly randomly in a public place and at a specified time, all take out a copy of the same book and start reading out loud from a pre-designated page ... Who wants in?

How can you not love Bill Maher? His newest New Rule? "A-hole in One Shouldn't Be Obama's Game" explains golf thusly: "Golf, if you're not familiar, is a pastime where you basically walk outdoors with a bag, muttering and cursing. It's like being homeless in loud pants."

Here's the new poster for the upcoming movie Dorian Gray based on, of course, The Picture of Dorian Gray.



I first read this when I was 15 and loved it. Then re-read it when I was 19 and hated it. In fact I hated it so much that I haven't been able to read any more Oscar Wilde since. I'm wondering if it's time to give him a third chance in time for the movie?

Can you believe this guy owns a company that made 7 figures in the first 6 months of this year?



He's the man behind Pet Holdings which owns I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? and FAIL Blog. AND HE MAKES A MILLION DOLLARS. Obviously, I'm doing something wrong with my life.

Since I have, in the last 5 years of my life, become intimately acquainted with skate culture, I found this essay, celebrating Andy Kessler's life, really moving.



It provides some perspective on a group in our society that is often misunderstood and underestimated: "For all of their perceived destructiveness, for all of their purported unthinking and lawless mischief, skateboarders are a creative and compassionate breed."

How can I get this t-shirt?!

Shopping for a 6-year-old's birthday

is surprisingly fun. Especially when it's hot outside, but the intermittent threat of passing rain showers rules the beach out as a viable option. The following is a photo-essay about me and my friend's shopping trip to Toys R Us and 99 Cent Stuff. (my friend's and mine? What's the proper grammatical phrasing there?) I didn't photograph the actual things we bought for the 6-year-old, but I did buy myself a few items ... can you guess which things I bought??


What could be better on a hot day like today than shooting mini marshmallows at friends?! It's a food fight with weaponry!! (Random Personal Trivia: I have never been in a food fight and it's a secret wish of mine to have one.)


I'm a fan of Yo Gabba Gabba (with guests like The Shins, Jack Black, The Roots, Amy Sedaris and Elijah Wood and episodes directed by Jared Hess of Napoleon Dynamite fame). This Magic Dance Hat which plays music when you move your head around (preferably as you do the puppet master) is AH-MAZE-ING. In fact, I want to be DJ Lance Rock for halloween.

A Project Runway fashion illustration toy thing! I used to love these when I was little!!


I will admit it, I was a HUGE Barbie fanatic when I was a kid. I had the Corvette, a three story mansion with an elevator, and my favorite was my Jasmine Barbie (from Aladdin). I feel like I should be against Barbie because it fucks with your self-image and reinforces gender stereotypes and blah blah blah. But when I walked into the Barbie aisle, my heart stopped for a second. Mermaid + Barbie. swoon.


Dude! Skipper is a crunchy-granola, back-packy nature type who BLOGS! hahahahaha Her thought bubble says "That's going in my nature blog!"


Although I love Barbie and I was generally a pretty girly-girl, a lot of my toys were hand-me-downs and I have an older brother, so I had equal love for stuff like guns and toy tractors. This particular Nerf blasting thing with three guns in one is pretty awesome. Three darts per second!!

Moon Shoes!!! They fit up to a men's size 9! They're kid-powered fun! They're also $30! WTF?


Ah, the elusive Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine. Prominently displayed to mock us and our now-functioning air conditioner at work.


There is so much wrong with this product. Pushing the whole princess meme on little girls is bad enough as it is, but associating the princesses with a snack, and one that is SO CONCERNED with calories? And look at Belle's waist! It's been whittled down to nothing! Even Dita can't shrink her middle like that. Not to mention that if you want your daughter to eat healthily, you should probably avoid Disney-sponsored chocolate snacks made out of chemicals and just give her a mango or some carrots. UGH.

Let's move on to the next stop of the day. 99 Cent Stuff. Here's where it gets good.


Hey look! Cheap tennis shoes! That are actually snow boots!


Mmmmm ... Pocky. Oh, no. Tricky. How appropriately-named.

Hannah Montana ankle socks that say Secret Star.


This "Senior New Type" table cloth, so you know, has "No Poison, No Taste." So don't worry if grandma tries to take a bite out of it.


We considered buying this for the 6-year-old. I mean, look at how FUN it is! It's a Robin Hood play set! You get a cardboard head of Robin Hood with creepy blue eyes ... and then you play with it. Because there's nothing else included.

This is Joy-Doh. Like Play-Doh, but better, because when you give this to a child you let them know that they can try to change their image. Be sure to include some 80 Calorie Princess snacks when you gift this.


Is this action figure a man or a woman? We don't know! But we do know that if we were to start a L patron action figure line, this could definitely be the first one.


Why not? From the back: "Alone for the evening? Give yourself over to Squeeze Solitaire, where getting down to nothing is harder than you imagined."


If you were to buy yourself a frisbee, wouldn't you pass over the others in favor of a 2008 one from Denver?

Can anyone explain this to me? Is it a really bad joke about the fact that you can legally go to war when you turn 18 and get your legs blown off by a roadside bomb or something?

So ideal for the Sniper Sex Therapist ...


So ideal for all the rest of them.

On the one hand we have 80 Calorie Princess Snacks, on the other? Chubby Kids Soda. Why lie to yourself?

Crasher Squirrel

This couple was on vacation in Canada and set up their camera with the timer so they could take a picture of themselves. She set it up on the rock, they took their seats a few feet away, and then ... the squirrel showed up:



Now, nicknamed the Crasher Squirrel, he has been popping up all over the Internet.

Cuba on my mind

I spent some time today immersed in the surreal world that is preparing for a trip to Cuba. I offered to take a friend, who is now on his way (of course the flight was delayed), to the airport this morning. Although the flight wasn't supposed to leave until 1:30 p.m., he had to be there at 9:30 a.m.

I have family and friends who have gone to Cuba and I'm aware that taking various items (you know, real luxury stuff: towels, medicine, toothpaste, dish-washing soap) is a requisite, but I didn't quite understand the logistics and planning that goes into this whole endeavor. I still don't. And it's not easy information to find. It also doesn't help that you have to worry not only about customs here in the U.S., but also the olive green brigade in Cuba as well.


In any case, it was a strange morning. Our arrival at the agency where his ticket waited for him (this ticket had been up in the air all week ... he was finally told he could pick it up here a half-hour before he was supposed to be at the airport) was welcomed by a brood of hens with a couple of roosters thrown in to the mix. Here are a few of them:


His two bags were deemed too heavy and everything was unpacked. A third, smaller bag was magically produced from the depths of a closet in the office and the lady at the agency helped him repack the bags, taking all the medicines out of their boxes, carefully taping them to make sure they wouldn't spill and that any necessary instructions weren't lost, putting them in the third bag that she then disguised (it had some inappropriate logo or something on the front?) and covered in tape. Advice was given on what to do with a large bottle of olive oil and a portable DVD player. It would seem that wearing a suit is a good idea. All of this took place in front of me as I sat there, completely baffled by how ludicrous the whole thing is and unsure how I could help, if at all.

The whole experience has left me thinking about all the things we take for granted: not only access to well-stocked pharmacies, but also food and freedom. Cuba is now a place where talking about the fact that you are hungry is a criminal offense.



For those of you who don't speak Spanish, this man, whose nickname is Panfilo, is video-taped, while drunk, saying that he's hungry, that everyone is hungry and that there is no food to eat. Consequently, the police start showing up to his home and questioning him. Scared, he then records a second video, saying that he was drunk and didn't know what he was saying. In the end, Panfilo has been arrested and will be imprisoned for two years for peligrosidad - being a danger to the state. Will they at least give him something to eat in prison?

Meanwhile, the bearded one just celebrated his 83rd birthday. What do you want to bet that cabron had a great meal to celebrate?

I've never particularly cared for the Three Stooges, but I'm excited to see the Farrelly Brothers' version since it has Paul Giamatti and Benicio del Toro.



Ever heard of a Tickle Me Plant? Neither had I before my friend sent me the link to a video with a really funny song. Watch it. That way when I start singing it in front of you, since I can't get it out of my head, you can sing along with me.



Since I'm such a (trying-to-be-reformed) hater, I wanted to just snark on this whole "Sweaty Sunday" workout article - because it takes place in a "hipster neighborhood" in LA, because it's described as an "American Apparel ad come to life," because "headbands and bright tights are the norm" - but in the end, I decided it's pretty awesome.



They look really happy:



And I think I would be too, if I was there.

To be really happy

You should be a sea gypsy, yes? (warning: the other stories at this link, while beautifully photographed and interesting, are not happy.)

Places I would really like to go ...

I've always wanted to go to Japan and Machu Picchu, but I'm adding two places to the list that I had never thought of before:



Greenland, now that I read this photo essay, and





The Maldives, to stay in any of these hotels.

Dita goes grocery shopping! In France!

She's been photographed wearing lots of flats since she started dating this Count Louis-Marie de Castelbajac. I wonder if she's trying to emphasize his height? Her petiteness?

Mermaid sightings!

THIS has made my day!!!!

What SHOULD my tattoo say?

I have a visible tattoo that is in another language. It has a lot of meaning for me and comes with a whole story that I don't necessarily feel like sharing all the time. And I definitely don't feel like sharing with patrons at work.

So today, when this creepy guy asked me what it meant, I told him "happy hour" (the tattoo has two words), thinking anyone would think that's so stupid that I either must be pretty inane OR I must be bullshitting them because I don't want to talk about it.

Apparently, that was too subtle, because he took me seriously and asked me out to happy hour at the Catalina.

Anyone have any suggestions for what I should tell patrons in the future??

Thanks.