More on happiness. Because we can't get enough.

This essay on happiness written by a Zen Buddhist priest is a must-read. I decided a few days ago that I would focus more on enjoying each moment, enjoying the present, in order to be happier in general. So, with that in mind, the following really jumped out at me, mostly because it's what I've been thinking ... but written in a much more poetic way:

“'For the time being the highest peak, for the time being the deepest ocean; for the time being a crazy mind, for the time being a Buddha body; for the time being a Zen Master, for the time being an ordinary person; for the time being earth and sky. Since there is nothing but this moment, ‘for the time being’ is all the time there is' ... So to be happy, with a happiness that doesn’t blow away with every wind, we need to be able to make use of what happens to us — all of it — whether we find ourselves at the top of a mountain or at the bottom of the sea."

Traveling to Tulum in my mind

I would like to be at this beach in Tulum, Mexico, meditating while the clay and honey that covers me from head to toe dries in the sun so that I can jump in the ocean to wash it all off. Wouldn't you?

And since I'm on the topic of travel ... read this, for different perspective on being "ripped off" by the locals (not in Mexico).

Diversity, Chlamydia, Hermaphrodite?

Thank god! I can sleep better at night now, knowing that the family that bonds together over the filthiness of their tub and goes to church can overcome diversity.



Sad (and baffling) news. The koala in this picture, who was rescued from brushfires in Australia and became a "symbol of hope", has died of ... chlamydia. Apparently this STD affects 50 percent of the koala population. Who knew?



Lady Gaga ... a hermadphrodite?

Some dating advice

If anyone is as interested as I am about the whole Paper Heart are-they-or-aren't-they debate, you can read all about it here. Apparently all the awkward, "real" moments between Charlyne and Michael were awkward and "real," not because they were together, but because they're just awkward, "real" people.

Perhaps they could have used these handy Cue Cards for the Dining Dead to stimulate their conversations.



And something that's important for all of us in relationships, or looking for one, or not looking for that matter, to know: wine makes sex better for women. Thank you, Italian scientists.

Also, according to Liv, Steven Tyler says you'll smell better if you put perfume in your belly button and on the soles of your feet.

When I grow up ...

I've decided that when I grow up I want to be a muse, defined here as "an individual who inspires creative process, an icon that influences a designer or artist and a multi-talented free-spirited person who seeks to live life to the full." Especially if in my free time I can do photo shoots.



Of course, as a muse I will only use beautiful language, so I will prepare by learning and incorporating all of these words into my vocabulary, starting with my favorites - words I didn't even know existed - petrichor and tintinnabulation (which is a good example of onomatopoeia!).

I will continue my new-found love of documenting my life by taking photos of my drinks, but my drinks will be less well vodka sodas and more "blooming champagne cocktails".



I'll go back to baking, since as a muse I'll be "multi-talented" ... I'll probably come up with cute, trendy little baked goodies like these pie pops that are all over the food blogs now.



Since, as a muse, I will be a "free-spirited person who seeks to live life to the full," I will take these drives of a lifetime.



But first, I'll drive to Big Pine Key, since the new food critic at The New York Times claims it's the home of "the only credibly fantastic ham and pineapple pizza on Earth — no lie." Anyone know where exactly to find it?! I've done some preliminary research and it seems to be at No Name Pub, which has been around since 1931 and has a clothing optional policy.

Music Music Videos

Some awesome videos and awesome music. Most of these are nominated for VMAs.

Anjulie - Boom

Chairlift - Evident Utensil

Major Lazer - Hold the Line

Another solution for the sex offenders?

If they can't build a ship like these homeless guys in Poland, maybe they can become tour guides like the convicts in Italy?



Either way, it seems like cities all over the place are coming up with creative solutions to deal with their homeless/convict problems, why can't we? In fact, a friend told me that in NY, Mayor Bloomberg is offering sex offenders who can prove they have family in other states a free one-way ticket. Guess which state happens to be especially popular with these lucky sex-offenders?? Looks like we'll have to come up with a solution fast, before they run out of room at the Julia Tuttle. Maybe we can have them take care of the horses in the airport?

In any case, this article mentions that living under the bridge is "arguably even less enjoyable than prison." Yeah. Arguably. I pass by there twice a day, it's fucking prime real estate. They don't have to deal with mortgages or property taxes. They don't have to worry about their car getting broken into or getting a parking ticket (Speaking of cars, one of them drives a red VW beetle. Isn't that the car you'd least want a sex offender to be driving? Beetles just scream "Trust me, I'm friendly!"). It's like Lost without the smoke monster, polar bears, or the Others. And with access to the internet "@ your L." I get the whole potential human rights violations and everything ... it's just hard to feel sorry for them when you're driving along Biscayne Bay, beautiful view of the Miami skyline, and you see what looks like a picture-perfect camping spot. In fact, I'm wondering if tourists have driven to Miami Beach and wondered if they could pitch a tent right along the causeway too ...



Interestingly, all the pictures I can find focus on the people who live right underneath the bridge, where things aren't so pretty. I can't find any of the tents lined up along the causeway on the grass, underneath the palms.

I did find great pictures in Debra1's flickr, like this one, of one of the views they enjoy.



And here's one photo of what it looks like underneath the bridge.



It seems to me that if they have to live there, they should at least make it nice. I really think there's potential ... maybe spray paint some inspirational poetry down there to lift the spirits? Have someone stop by and pick up the trash for them every now and then?

In any case, check out the flickr set, it's interesting. As is the commentary. I imagine the person who took the photos feels a lot of sympathy for these people. I gotta say though - an open-air gym right by the water? Nice.

"Tex-Mex"?

This exchange between editor Dodai from Jezebel and her mom is too cute, particularly because I could see this happening between me and my mom. I still remember receiving my mom's first text. Or, as she calls it, her first "tex-mex." It was weird.

Condoms, speedos and a solution for the Sex Offenders

I don't really care one way or the other about Jon Gosselin, the dad from that stupid show on that stupid channel about a family with EIGHT kids (in fact, I care so little, that I'm not even going to look up a link for him or his show) and I wouldn't even know he existed if it wasn't because he and his wife divorced or seperated or whatever and he's been in the tabloids and therefore in blog-land. I also don't really care one way or the other about Joan Rivers either, but her comment on him? Awesome:

"Here's a guy with eight kids who runs off to 'find himself' -- well, he should have found himself a condom."

Sooooooooooo NSFW: "special" speedos for men. Ridiculous. Completely ridiculous.

Have they found a place for all the sex offenders currently under the Julia Tuttle Causeway to live? Maybe they could build a ship like these homeless guys.

About Demon Starfish

Here where I work, we have a regular we like to call The Demon Starfish (this name came about when he insisted one of our coworkers was a demon because she smelled like starfish). Just to sketch this character out a little bit, this is what he has told us about himself:

• He is currently suing someone in El Paso, Texas for sexual harassment.
• He refuses to seek help from one of our coworkers when she's on the desk because he says that she attacks his magnetic force field.
• He was once in a gang fight in Texas.

And this is what we know from dealing with him:

• He asks at least once a day for phone numbers for people in Texas - Native American tribes, doctors, politicians, etc.
• He once asked for the Pope's contact information because he (D.S.) invented a time machine and wanted to share this invention with the Pope.

Today, he handed the following to one of my coworkers:

It says (all misspellings are his) "una envitacion para Isabella pricesa de la Fiesta de la Flores." (an invitation for Isabella princess of the Festival of the Flowers)


Inside was:

A copy of the rules of conduct on which he wrote "Not Applicable" and

The "envitacion": "Your courtly invite to my home which is located at ... or Am I invited to yours." and



A letter: "Querida Isabella pricesa de las Flores, Dentro de la noche anteror las calma aguas de el atlantico abrasa la oria de las playas y las estrellas elumina la oscuridad. Pero el cansancio del dia me vino a llamar con su dulce voz, ella estuvo caminado sobre el mar as ta que vino a visitatarmen in gran tranquilida y dentro de la gran oscuridad los murcielagos en empezaro al volar y vine a caer dentro un gran sueno y en paz pero la gran pesadilla de la gran muerte de mi bella reina y nova enpesa y dentro de la noche, tu te aparese en gran tritesa con un ramo de Flores y una cruz. Mi lavos te vener a tocar y la luz de la Manana mi vine al desperta Isabella pricesa de las Flores. tu Amado Amirado Enrique Faustino Luna"


Attempt at translation: "My dear Isabella princess of the Flowers, During the night last night the calm waters of the atlantic embrace the shoreline of the beaches and the stars light up the dark. But the exhaustion of the day came calling me with its sweet voice, she was walking on the sea until she came to visit me in great tranquility and in the grand darkness the bats began to fly and I fell into a deep and peaceful sleep but a great nightmare of the great death of my beautiful queen and bride started and in the night you appeared in a great sadness with a branch of Flowers and a cross. My lips came to touch you and the light of the Morning came to wake me up Isabella princess of the Flowers. your loved admirer(?) E.F.L."



And last but not least, a random print-out of an email. With random things highlighted, like the ad for a $160,000 mortgage for as low as $633/month, and an email message that simply says "Are you there Luna?"


Are you there indeed.

"Right now I'm very obsessed with ... monsters. And playgirls."

I HAD to post this. She seems like a character in a Quentin Tarantino movie to me.

"See how to be the big boss of the big cheese"

In keeping with the whole soul-searching, life-changing kick I've been on lately, I've been reading books about people finding themselves. Specifically, I read Julie and Julia and am now reading My Life in France.

I didn't know much about Julia Child. I didn't know anything about her at all, actually. I just remember seeing her in her cooking show when I was a kid: tall, kind of goofy, with a really funny voice. The book is really a revelation ... I'm struck by what an amazing woman she was: curious, adventurous, passionate and strong-willed. And to think that she didn't even start cooking until her late 30s. Looking at her show now, it's difficult to reconcile the person I imagine when I read the book and the actual Julia Child on TV. It's kind of cool, actually, how she is just so unabashedly quirky and larger-than-life. What an inspiration she was.

Thankfully, Julie Powell, who was going through her own crisis a few years ago, started the Julie/Julia Project as a means of finding herself and in the process ended up with her book deal, which resulted in the movie deal, which has resulted in a whole lot of press about Julia Child. The more people know about her I think, the better.



If you want to be learn how to be the big boss of the big cheese souflee, you should go to PBS, where they are showing old episodes of The French Chef. At least watch the intro ... she's awesome.

Smart tipping and a (false?) dramaturg

What to do if you're drunk and in the mood for some cow-tipping type of fun (even though you now know that cows kill!) but you're stuck in the middle of Amsterdam? How about some Smart Smijten?!



I mentioned the Happy Days blog previously; here is another amazing essay on doing what you love in life written by a man who realized that what he thought was just a diversion was actually making him happiest. Plus, it has pretty pictures.

Blueprint for Joy

I got news yesterday that has seriously derailed my plans. I've been pinning all my hopes to this idea that I've had for the last few weeks, and you might think that because it's only been a few weeks, I shouldn't be as distraught as I am. But I've been doing a lot of thinking; reassesing what it is that I want in life, what it is that I want to be doing, what will make me happy, and like I mentioned in an earlier post, I keep thinking about what it was that I wanted when I was little.

Is it crazy to think that you are the most yourself when you are a child? I guess this may not be true for a lot of people, who may have grown up under difficult circumstances, but at a young age, what else can you be but you? There are no pretensions, no need to take on a persona to make it through the day. Your wishes and dreams are undiluted, as wild and impossible as they may be. And I'm still finding, after all these years of relationships, experiences, failures and, well, just, life, that those dreams are still appealing to me.

So, yes, I had figured out the path that was going to drop me off at exactly where I think I want to be, the path that would lead me to this happy life where I would feel (more)free, and now it's blocked. I'm feeling defeated. And trapped.

I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. And I'm not alone in this search for a more fulfilling and happy life. Whether it's the collective unconcious at work, or whether I'm just more attune to these things right now, or whether it's just one more thing we can blame on the recession, I'm finding evidence of other people struggling with the same things.

There's a Happy Days blog on The New York Times about the search for contentment, there's another blog called The Happiness Project about one woman's attempt to live out every tip and theory she could find on how to be happy. And just this morning, Diane Rehm featured Melanie Gideon who wrote a book called The Slippery Year about the process of transformation and rediscovering her passion for life.

So here we are, all trying to find happiness, or contentment, or peace, in our lives. I've read and re-read Tim Kreider's piece because he has put into words what it is that I want right now : happiness, yes, but also experiences, stories to tell. He writes, "Maybe we mistakenly think we want 'happiness,' which we tend to picture in very vague, soft-focus terms, when what we really crave is the harder-edged intensity of experience," and I feel like he almost has it. He's under the impression that happiness is ephemeral, that once you notice it, in the moment, it's gone ... that it's not something that can be enjoyed in the present but a feeling you get only after really living and being entirely absorbed in something. While I appreciate his belief that we must be "fully engaged in the business of living" in order to be happy afterwards, I also think it's possible to capture and enjoy moments of happiness as they happen. And I think that right now, despite having my plan rejected by the powers-that-be, or actually, because of it, I need to recognize moments of happiness.

I immediately thought of naming this endeavour the Happiness Project, since it seems like everyone has a "project" of some sort and it's the perfect sort of word. A project is an accomplishment, definitely, but it's not as strict or exacting as an assignment; there's a sort laziness to the word, a feeling like it's something you'll get around to on the weekends. But, of course, the Happiness Project already exists. So I'm calling it Blueprint to Joy. Because I like the way blueprint sounds on the tongue. And because maybe, as I try to sort out my next move, I can, in the meantime, build a life full of happy memories.

Thin Mints and Miniature Brides

Another reason to hate Walmart! They're ripping off girl scouts everywhere! For a moment, I was actually happy about this because I have a HUGE thin mint obsession and somehow never seem to be in the right place at the right time to buy them. And since I don't exactly have a lot of friends with children, let alone children of girl scout age, I've missed "girl scout cookie" season more often than not. But they make a good point in the article - that part of the deliciousness of these cookies has to do with the fact that they are pretty rare, so getting a bright green box for your own is that much greater when it does happen. So yeah, fuck you Walmart.

And, if, like me, you don't have an insider girl scout connection, stay up-to-date about when they'll be selling cookies in your area here.

Here's a NY Times article on the movie Paper Heart that clears up some questions. (Well, questions I had anyway.)

Forget viral wedding dance videos. Being a miniature bride is where it's at! Leave it to the Asians to come up with such a bizarre wedding trend. Jezebel takes issue with it, and they make a good point. But ... if (our most amazing wedding photographer) Stephan Maloman had given us this option ... I think I would have done it!

"I won't be cowed"

So it looks like you'd be better off running with bulls in Spain, where there have been a total of 15 deaths since 1924 (there's an encierro every day for 8 days, so 8 times however many years it's been since 1924 ... yeah. Do the math), than hanging around cows in the U.S., which activity results in about 20 deaths a year. Says one commenter: "I won't be cowed." Haha.

In other European news ... I was reading this blog post about having picnics by the water and it mentioned how it's so chic in Paris to have picnics by the Seine, which sounds oh-so romantic. But then I saw an actual picture of this event and thought, "Huh."



The blog post this picture belongs to is interesting, particularly for the (brief) history of guinguettes. But even though they might (MIGHT) have better food than we do, and even though they might (DEFINITELY) have better wine than we do, they still can't beat Miami for outdoor, waterside picnics. You could go anywhere in Miami Beach, Crandon Park, even parks like Margaret Pace that don't even have a beach, and it'll be nicer than sitting on concrete and/or cobblestones in front of a murky, polluted river. I mean, look at this picture, not even one of our nicer or more successful picnics (actually I don't think there was any food at this particular "picnic") but still, you get the idea ...



By the way, this gorgeous picture was taken by my friend Frankie.

L'Orchestre d'Hommes-Orchestres

Let me present to you one of the most amazing things I've seen and heard in a while. I can't begin to explain how much I love this. L'Orchestre d'Hommes-Orchestres is Django Reinhardt meets O Brother Where Art Thou meets Tilly and the Wall. On a bus. It's brilliant. Why don't we have fun street theater like this in Miami? I mean, Disco Guy and Tinkerbell and Rooster Guy are all cool ... but, come on. I think I'll run away to Canada and join a street theater group ...

Dita

There will be lots and lots of posts about Dita von Teese on here guys. Just warning you. She is my most favorite style icon, even though I don't really have any interest in ALWAYS dressing pin-up perfect, I still adore her. Coincidentally, my other two favorites right now are Beyonce and Lady Gaga.

Anyway, here are some pictures of her. Not only is she NOT wearing heels (Remember Coachella? It was SUCH a big deal then.) BUT she's also NOT wearing fake eyelashes. In fact, her makeup is pretty minimal, no eyeliner even.

God, I would love to go thrifting with her.



She was tweeting something about dirndls and how great they are a couple days ago ... here she is wearing one. Of course, it looks good on her.

You'll be as happy as a hooker at a hot dog stand

Who doesn't love finding some stranger's notes or drawings lying around? I remember when I was 13 finding, on the stairs at a hotel, little scraps of notebook paper that I tucked into my journal. I imagined some cute boy with floppy hair, a nerdy cardigan and a superior intellect who was just looking for the girl of his dreams (me!) had left them behind. I don't know why I imagined this, especially because the notes were not in any way indicative of some superior intellect. If I remember correctly, one of them said "Will you meet me sometime and share with me the correct way to wear a wig in summer?"

Anyway, this curiosity into other people's minds and lives is why Found exists. It's why I love the Detective Stories episode of Radiolab more than any of the other ones (Short recap: A man and a woman are traveling down Route 101. Suddenly, the woman tells the man to pull over, because she just saw a goat standing on top of a cow. It takes come convincing, but finally, he turns the car around to go back to that field, and lo and behold, there is a goat, standing on top of a cow. They get out of the car, to get a closer look, and find hundreds of letters along the road. They forget all about the goat and the cow and start picking up all the letters that they can find. Turns out they were all written by different men to one woman ... ). And it's why, of all the wonderful passive-aggressive notes on passiveaggressivenotes.com, THESE are the best ones. You can really piece together a strange history there.

If you're into found notes like I am, you'll be as a happy as a hooker at a hot dog stand.


Another thing to be incredibly happy about: a pseudo-Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm. As if it wasn't great enough already that Curb is coming back for another season, we now have a fake Seinfeld reunion to look forward to as well!

And as if HBO wasn't great enough already? There's a new show, Bored to Death, coming in September with Jason Schwartzman (I Heart Huckabees!) and Zach Galifianakis (best-known for the Hangover, but really, Between Two Ferns is better). The trailer for the show promises Kristen Wiig (Brahbrah!) and Parker Posy (the original Party Girl!) as well! Why can't all TV just be HBO and Showtime? Are the other channels (ok, ok, with the exception of Lost and Mad Men and 30 Rock and It's Always Sunny) doing ANYTHING worth watching?

Speaking of Lost, Charlie is coming back!

Looking for a job? Put your resume on your tshirt! You never know when you might be standing in front of someone who would like to hire you!

I feel bad for this guy thinking a mango-flavored candy is as good as a real mango. Even if it is Japanese (they make all the best candies!), he obviously has never eaten a mango plucked off the tree from someone's yard in Miami.

And last but not least, the mustache has been rescued from the clutches of hipsters everywhere and been repurposed as a means of political protest by the Brazilians. (an English explanation can be found here)

Paper Hearts

Remember the stoner girlfriend from Knocked Up?


Well, now she's gone and made this movie that is maybe a documentary (or maybe not) about her relationship with Michael Cera, which made a lot of people take note because she may be 33 and he was 20, but which doesn't really matter anymore because apparently they've broken up.

The movie looks good though.