Lifetime, why must you break my heart?

My very favorite contestant on Project Runway was auf-ed on the first episode.

I officially hate Lifetime now. Bravo would have kept her, I think, because she was so obviously off-the-wall kooky that she would have made for interesting episodes.

(Like Elisa!! Remember her? She would spit on the clothes?!)


Anyway, Lifetime decided to keep this guy instead of Ari:

He kind of looks like Perez Hilton don't you think?


During Ari's introductory heart-to-heart with the camera, we learn that she wants to make clothes that can double as tents and water purification systems (UGH bad flashback to that STUPID faux-Project Runway show on Bravo and the outfit that doubled as a sleeping bag):

Later in the episode, when Tim gives everyone the requisite 30 minutes to sketch, Ari states she doesn't sketch ... she meditates. And then she does this:

In the end though, she does create a "sketch"(see below, how awesome is that?!) and I love it. The outfit? Not so much. It was described alternately as a disco soccerball (Michael Kors), a halter diaper (Tim Gunn), and a space suit from outer space (a contestant with little imagination). Ari, for her part, feels like her model would be at home walking the red carpet for the VMAs and then afterwards walking the red carpet at the Nobel Awards (??) and receiving a Peace Prize.


So, while her outfit is actually sort of ugly, it was an interesting concept and it was daring. And it took some work and talent to create. And someone could, conceivably, actually WEAR it. Whereas the see-through caftan nightgown that Mitchell made ... :

No. Just, no. It's see-through. And worse than being see-through? It's ugly. The only part of the dress that required any skill to create - the smocking at the neck - is ugly. It looks like she has a skin disease.

In my opinion though, it's wasn't even the worst dress to go down the runway. This one was:

Qristyl (who doesn't design plus-size mind you, she designs plus-sexy) made this tacky Joker-Meets-Two-Face dress. I think they've established that Project Runway is meant for innovative designers and high fashion. Why did Lifetime put her on the show? If they're looking for drama, they should have kept Ari. If they're looking for "diversity", they already have Epperson and Ra'mon (both of whom made pretty dresses). If nothing else, I can't wait to hear Michael Kors' comments and see Nina Garcia's face when Qristyl starts sending shit like this down the runway:

Those are actual designs that she made and sells on her website.

...

In any case, my favorite designs this episode were the Recovering Meth Addict's:

Although I agree with the judges and thought that it would be better in black.

And Shirin's, which, you can't see here, but part of the skirt transforms into a short cape that covers the model's shoulders.

Final thoughts:

As Dodai so wonderfully pointed out on Jezebel, Lindsay Lohan sucked as a judge, and "Red-Carpet Look" sucked as a first challenge (bring back the grocery store challenge!!).

Lifetime's Project Runway website is so clunky and non-intuitive that it's made me hate them even more. Damn you Lifetime.